Day 28

So i skipped yesterday but timing wise was not good. I really do believe that there was reason for this whole thing. Gaining perspective on the situation. I think that what you do(actions) and what you say(words) are different. Through words I can say i am going to go on a yoga everyday and no drinking New Years resolution for a month two months before I started. Everyone will say that's great and support you or ask why call you crazy. When you do it they will say things like, "we'll i've started going to the gym again, and yoga..that's supposed to be good for you, or why aren't you drinking? I just don't get it, it's like a cleansing thing right?". I think the though that the most beautiful mericle is the one that is simplicity. Like the birth of a child. You may understand how it happens and dismiss it by science or because it is common but by becoming less conscience, by putting it into its box you lose the mericel. When the point comes when a woman talks about becoming pregnant and becomes pregnanat. The precise unfolding of understanding it lies at the moment when that same woman goes from a concept in minds eye to the happening in reality. When she is 'being' pregnant...it hits her. Suddenly her eyes open and she becomes different forever. In this doing, this action, this practice of being and living the change, things you can't explain happen. My the merical did happen for me. I now at the very end. I realized because i can anylize the pattern of these happenings to myself. Once i stopped drinking I first acted as if I was being the same, drinking water, acting as if nothing were different. But then you start to look at the box that you have just stepped outside of and see what is the box? what does it look like? what is its color? shape? emotions? does it have purpose or is there more then one? But you don't ask these. Not at first. You are first doing the action then you are pregnant with the idea, then you are pregnanat, and now i am unfolding what it means. what clearity i have now to catch this merical. So because i was outside the box and left its side. It was unlinked from me. As i was being in this state it floated away from me like small boat unlatched from my dock. It had no control over me and I cared about it less and less. I started to engaged in activities that invovled...me. I went home almost any weeked. I focused more on yoga and my schooling. I felt less tired and more usful. I felt light and simple. But the mircle was the illusion of the lifestyle i had been leading was thinning out an starting to crack. i could see under the paint chips and could see the shallow primitive gratification. Drinking beer like antellope at a watering whole. It's not about the beer. It's not even about the people. Its about something much more selfish and subconscioius. A grotesque physical public appearance of unproductive procrastination distraction and vegitation. A meditation of sipping and looking at others and the grass is greener..whos that and what are they doing? Social improvement and self decline. False accomplishment of doing something. A thing that is done but not talked about. What are we doing here? why are we here? seeking strangers or showing our faces. Having fun or defining fun. A natrual frontier that is no longer non discovered but i habitual and acutely developed even to the T of different fluids for different goals. And as i look but really see i find that I began to enter activites that were more like the ones i did when i was small and more absorbed into James and what i wanted. Less about who i was seen to be but who i saw myself as. Last night was the first night going out and drinking. I learned that i am the same drinking water and beer and was being noticed more when i was drinking water. A calm sobrarity. like a green apple amongst the red ones. you can tell when someone is drunk but it turns out the lessdrunk they are they more active and powerful they become. And being different is beautiful. Not paying to dull my senses was nice also. But what have we all bought into? does anyone care or realize this? bother to ponder the mundane and once meaning lost to routine becomes white light hidding all the colors of the rainbow. A genicide of mass ignorance and dumbing down of culture and skill. Dancing does not even exist anymore in America as it once did. The jitterbug become the electric slide only reserved for weddings and childrens parties. The skill in celebration lost and the death of the dj. Can we ever allow ourselves to have fun with just plan coolaid and a group activites that involves more then the repeaticious actions that we do. Seeking the random now makes more sense. The yoga keeps me busy but the water is clear. Seeing the flower that is possibilities which we can all obtain if we just think about the present. Its not so much what we are doing but why we are doing it. living in the moment although clechea makes more sense to me now then ever. And making change in your life is not just in the physical alterations of a routine but what type of lens that your gaze looks at the world.

Day 26

So I skipped yesterday. I have been going to bed earlier and earlier lately. I think it seems to be working well. No need for a nap. Did the beginner's today. I felt pretty amazing after class. Well it was pretty amazing talking to the instructor to but that's not what this blog is about. I think if I had to say it was easier it would be a lie. The very fact it was beginners forced you to slow down and made the class feel longer although in actuality it's really shorter. Feeling very healthy and interested to see what it will be like tomorrow in the all levels with David. But gotta keep it short. Test tomorrow. Wish me luck. If there is even anyone reading this. God. okay thanks..:)

Day 24

Gotta make this one quick. getting up early and going to bed like now...test tomorrow. So that day off i took yesterday. The one that i really didn't feel like i needed. Well appearently I did. I felt amazing today in class. And great now. Seems like 6 to 1 to 5 to 2 is the best. I would say maybe even everyotherday but i'm still figuring it out. I think maybe next month I will do a 10 classer. Seems like a good deal. I think i will lift the days that i'm not yogaing it out.

Peaches and cream ladies and gents.

Day 23

So i haven't posted 21 and 22 but I did go. Today was a day I off I decided. I think because this is only 2 days off throughout the month I am still pleased with my progress. I am much more flexible and my back is so much stronger. I think the best thing for me though is when yoga is in combination with something else. Coming everyday is not as effective as coming everyother day. The body needs a break from doing the some thing but when it does it will become stronger and stronger. I think the best part of this whole thing is that I have made it a habit. I have proved to myself that I can still make meaningful changes in my life and that I am not rigid in any aspect of trying something new.

Peace be the journey.

day 20

twenty days!

I'm tired so i'm going to make this short. I think i'm starting to embark on the path of flowing more through the poses. I can now predict what the instructors with do and in a way I think even thought it make in a way be going through the motions it also helps me to just make it a meditation for myself. Again with half pidgen i have having some difficulty but i know it will iron itself out. I am trying to open my heart lately and in that some respect I think when something develops naturally in a progressive motion my body will adapt and things will happen more gracefully. I think whenever i am forcing i am never able to enjoy at the same time so accepting this positive and patient mindset hopefully will bring my true aspirations into focus. I'll never be too old to learn or too anything to do anything but if the mind becomes stiff like a door i won't be able to find a way through.

Sit. watch. Let it happen.

Day 19

Went well today. Alot more focused in the front of the room. I think that i am on the way to more of a break through with my flexibility. Bending down each time instead of just a simple fold i bend to my ankles and pull to stretch more of my hamstrings. This is not only reasonable in developing more flexibility in my hamstrings it is also safe in environment due to the heat. Flexible hamstrings means so many improvements. Even in running or kicking. Also a medium stretch is more evective then an extreme stretch. If the body feels pain it will create tension somewhere else. I think modifying poses to meet different abilities means coming on your own to meet that flexibilty. I have yet to test my improvements in sport but i am hopeful that i would not be disoppointed. Another thing. Pretty sure i want to hang out with like everyone at the studio just like outside of class. Seems like everyone is likeminded and I love the instructors.

doing something you fear is more important, you are more conscious and it might change your life.

Day 18

so i felt it before and now i'm saying it. back off or break your back off!

haha yeah really feeling the pressure on my low back and not in the good way. Usually i think it takes a little bit to recover a muscle but doing it everyday will do anything but be a bad thing. So just sticking with bridge is good. I think wheel is okay everyother day or so. But felt really good today and I have modified by half pidgin. so what if i've added one well..may two blocks but that's not so bad. If you ask me seems like it's better. working more hip and less tendon, yeah not a good thing. Tendons, they don't repair as fast. well pretty much not at all. Getting into the flow and the more i focus infront of me instead of just a random spot on the wooden floor which is never consistent to pick the same spot but it works for me. The more focused my eye the more enjoy it. Guess being heterosexual is both a blessing and a curse in these classes but ultimately in the end. We all take our shirts off. Enjoy ladies.

Now if i could only get some of those looks to come back with me. i'm sick i know.

Day 17

So i don't forget i'm doing it right away.

Wow that felt GOOD!!!Just the day off was a significant improvement. Not only was my endurance much more but my strength increased as well. Instead of being tired i am actually energized. Moral of the story. Be nice to your body and he'll be nice to you back. really happy about this one today. So maybe i'll take one day off a week? We'll see how I do tomorrow after siting in class all day. Big one tomorrow, last week before tests!

Love love love

Day 16

Well so i forgot to post yesterday but it was nice to go with my sis. She came with me to the malvern studio but today was a different story. Due to some difficulty submitting an assignment for a class online plus a deadline plus the fact that a recovery day will be like super super good for me, i desided not to go today. I think I desirve it and will try to let the ego go on this one. This is the first time i have not gone all this month but for me i'm glad to spend the time chilling out. My low back i know is thanking me.

Peace.

Day 14

Good day today.

The 4 o'clock was shorter but seemed the break i needed. My back is really killing me these days. I'm pretty sure that doing the full wheel is getting to me as I push it everyday. Looking forward to going home tomorrow for a change to malven. Too bad Megan won't be teaching but that'll be wednesday next week then. I'm going to see if I can get my dad to come with Saturday. Some days are better then others at this point but I think i need a break, or at least my body does. I think i will plan some basic classes for next week. My lower back takes longer then a day to recover. I can't imagine gymnists work the same thing everyday. WEAR AND TEAR. endurance gods just help me.

THis is for my boys.

Day 13

So missed a couple of posts but still going strong everyday so far.

Just got back from a bar......and still haven't had a drink. It's funny how I actually was even having as much fun as if i was drunk, well I was having fun. Anyways I felt good today in yoga. Not pushing myself where I feel i'm being strained is really a good idea. But not afrid to take my shirt off anymore, because it's soaked basically, and if i get a couple looks well haha i wasn't trying. Looking forward to the weekend. Maybe I will take a basics just to chill out a little and let my muscles repair a little.

ats all for now.

Day 10

Feeling great today.

Lately I have not been feeling so drained but instead able to get through the exercises. My pain threshold is much more to. I am able to hold poses for longer, as long as I can keep my focus off of beautiful women..lol. What is my goal? Nothing. It think this is really just going with the flow if there was a goal that would be it. I am not as sore during the day time as well. I think maybe beginning next week I will start to add some weight lifting exercises. Protein was not a problem as Joe said but I think rest is really the best. That is why i'm trying to be in bed by 10 this week, I'm going to try and see how this works in. I think I will take the advise of a woman today and just have something small when I get home. To eat so much so close to sleep is not good for metabolism.

Be in the now and live in the present. All your dreams will come true and you will be content.

Day 9

Almost forgot to post this today.

Feeling very good and chilled out today after yoga. I am able to go past the pain of the exercise now and have faith that my body will make it through. No pain means no change. I am really starting to relate my yoga practice to other realms of my life. Making comparisons and using the knowledge of slow motion to bring things into focus. I am so blessed to be in training. Perhaps maybe someday I will be the master of something. Knowing the secrets of something. Being in the honor to open a door that not many have been shown. When my lungs are empty of smoke and my mind is filled with love I will know what it is to be on the right path. This is the path I have chosen. This one that is best for me. I think it is almost destiny. The path of the righteous. The path of the humble.

breath in breath out.

Day 8

My bible is rolled up and has no need for words.

SOOO happy! Got my dad to go to his first lesson today. I think he sees the benefit of it all. Met a nice girl Andi that worked at the desk. The intructor today was awesome and I hope my dad will enjoy his future lessons there. I got him to enroll in the in the 6-week yoga beginners class at Malvern. Now he has to go at least once a week. Really liked the studio. Definately will be going there if i'm home on my weekends. I can feel my core getting stronger and my poses getting deeper. The discomfort in my hip is almost gone and I am able to hold the full bridges longer. Did a full inversion today also with the help of the instructor. :)

Peace ya'll.

Day 7

One week!!!

I have survived and I'm so happy. Tomorrow I will be able to take my father. THe one who gave me the funds for this indevor is now going to benifit from it. Hopefully he will see how it will help him to. I'm so excited for this. Haha yes and I'm sober to. Friday night, pssshhh i'm so over getting fucked up. I wish more people did this. There would be so much more to talk about. Physcially because if getting fucked up accomplishes zero then if your at level one of accomplishment you've like invented the flux capacitor. I just watched at movie called running the Sahara, i think this is something simalar but i'm still able to have a life and go to class. Well, more of a life actually. I hope and pray that some day I will be able to be where I want to physcially, stimulate others mentally, and focus on my ultimate spiritual growth everyday. This is a start. This is reality. This is my life.

"Rome wasn't built in a day"...and I'm okay with that. Love self.

Day 6

Smiles and a new Routine.

Seems like I am starting to make a groove in my day. Not in too much pain today but becoming increasingly aware of my limitations. "The more you know the more you know you don't know". Somebody said that. Saw two of my friends today caroline and Laura. Man it seems like yesterday Laura was on my bus in elementary school sending looks of annoyance and social acceptance to others. Ha we all did back then. Crazy how I see her all over the place and we're cool now. I think I will buy the class vouture for my father tomorrow when I go. I spoke with him on the phone tonight and I Saturday morning at 10am is when I'll take him to his first lesson in Malvern. Suprised that I was able to make it through today without straining myself. Some days are better then others I guess but that monster bike ride in the snow back from class was pretty intense. I guess you don't really know how strong your body is. But being sensitive to what exercises your body is agitated by is crutial to your advancement. "If it hurts don't do it." somebody said that to.

Anja means Third-eye

Day 5

Sweatiest Day of My life.

Couldn't even hold the poses some of them. Oh yeah and My ass just don't wanna hold up for some of em. I think I need a butt massage..lol. So I think Megan is my favorite Instructor and then David. That acting class today was the only other thing I had to do and Man that woke my throught chakra up. I was like a bass machine on my om today. First day I took my shirt off today but I just had to. Pretty sure it was noah's flood and I was even getting a lil head ache but I feel so good right now. met a woman on the way out named Machelle who was also a runner (although I really haven't been doing it at all these days). She said "you will start to see your body change if I haven't already". It was pretty cool seeing some of my friends come in for the next classes, the beginners class. All togeather I felt good with credit to the taking the small breaks ass I needed it. I think my back is getting stronger. Man I gotta get my dad doing this. Perfect thing for him after work. I'm going to do this forever. Like drop of rain dropping in the same spot everyday.

:)

Thank you all of you who are watching over me.

Day 4

felt of some stress in the outer knee and a dull deep pain in my adductor of my hip(confession, feeling it for a while). I don't want no pidgins or frogs but I think listening to my body was the best thing for me today. Something clicked into me today. Just like, "hey James, it's going to be okay..your going to get to be more flexible and see the results soon but you have to not kill yourself before you get there". So two steps back three steps forward and as I result I did feel refreshed and not tired. And the pain is not really there now(we'll see tomorrow) I will be going tomorrow and I think today was the deciding factor wiether I was needing a break or if i could push through. Ultimately, my pace is like resting. If i push hard I may not break today but eventually the string will break someday. I think the same with the body. Give it time and it will do things you cannot imagine.

"Be peaceful and your neighbor will be peaceful, If your neighbor is peaceful your nation is peaceful" ~Archarya Shree

P.S. Check out Pranayama

Day 3

This is like a new type of endurance.

The one that's like focus on the needle and don't give up. Relaxation is for the once in a whiles and a good work out is for the couple of in a week but when this fever breaks and the baby stops crying the flower will be and you will see. Haha okay yoda but seriously today was a challange. Lord help me through this task, i mean James help me through this task + god. pure vegitation is my craving during the day but I am a marathon man..spirit over mind. Ah and the body...well it'll catch up. Cross country all over again baby. A body builder of mechanical effectiveness. A man with desperate mental focus. By the way get one of those towels for your mat, fluid flowing like niagra. Gonna take viagra cuz i'm spent but haha we'll see. If spider man had a sport it would be yoga but not the hulk, he's gay. Oh yeah Bill gave a good workout and it was hot enough but just not feelin him today, kinda fat for a yoga master. Prolly hurt, not fuunny. lol so the other instructor came up next to me today. I think he's gay but only because he is "the principle dancer of philadelphia" watch your signals James.

I think sometimes I tend to be nice to everyone. Does being interested or curious mean your gay? ah no, so why do they think it's flurting? Purhaps we flirt with everyone we are interested in. Like i say before if there wasn't blood in my limbs it'd be in my member for sure, these girls in this class are killing me. And your kidding me 5 seconds to exit. start a conversation? maybe about the weather. pshh take your time james, this is not your goal anyways BOY.

LIKE A DART

I am yoda, focus, the old man doing his daily spiritual practices.

Day 2

Just outta the shower.

Way harder today but a little happier. Who knew stretching could be so hard. I was able to get even deeper today and did an inversion for the first time today. The yoga instructor David keeps helping me and I am grateful. I think he sees if you are making the effort he will do the same to help correct your poses. My whole body is getting a work out and the sweating is like the best(a pore working is a pore working well) water is gold. Gonna sleep well tonight. Volunteering at the pt clinic tomorrow. Lunch with James then Dinner with Sara.

I don't think I know actually how good this is for me yet. Peace and LOVe.

Day 1

Sweaty, Tired, and Wondering what will be the ends to these many means?

Officially doing what I set out to do and establishing the habit is the next task. This next week should prove hopefully less then troublesome but will be interesting with classes. I am happy, steadfast, enduring, efficient, and clever, but most certainly have no idea what is going to happen. May god's hand cover me as I cross my fingers for my joints. Injury is the last thing I need. Not only is it a financially deserving venture but can be considered an eventual stream I will one day make into a river. Now. Close. Book. Rest. Muscles. Shower. Eat. Veg. Out.

Laughing to see what tomorrow will bring but most definatley a six pack and not beer.

Mighty Gods of yoga, Gods of Detoxification, Gods of Healing, Gods of Scholarship Come to me.

Minus Alcohol and plus Yoga

so first blog ever.

I promised a friend I would blog about my experience over the next month. I will be doing a month long "drying out" ritual without alcohol and will be doing yoga everyday for a month. I will write in this blog everyday until February 1stish. Thank you Lindsay for your motivation. Tomorrow I will be going to The yoga studio to purchase a month long pass for unlimited yoga. I presume that in the month ahead my choice to divert myself from irreparable liver damage and an unfocused sleeping schedule will result in an explosion of creativity and energy towards that things that are important to my life and the next step in my education.

This is for my pop-pop.